The English Roman Catholic Church
R.M. Lamb’s assault upon staid religious and social stands and his aggression against the enemies of Christ.
My solitary acts are well documented and known to several. I have never been a physically violent, threatening or vituperative man, on occasion I did not stand down under tirades when such opposition was called for. I was never physically bellicose or belligerent to anyone.
2. Storming the Redoubt
One of the driving forces behind my conduct in this subheading is I aim to bring down platitudinous orthodoxy and dullness in all areas of our life on earth. I wish to stake my claim as the true heir apparent in Christ’s Grande Armee indeed now the senior officier sur la terre, my method is within the Roman Catholic tradition. However the very unacceptable nature of my private behaviour is destabilising to others who sympathise with the conventional interpretation of Richard’s modus operandi. I have no wish to discomfort or unbalance them nor indeed unsettle myself. I desire to play down any provocation – I am no agitator or pamphleteer. I am a grave and serious essayist in the Roman Catholic mould of Cardinal Newman (Blessed).
I am not launching a diatribe against society. It is not ‘1984’ all over again with Richard. Yet there is no mistaking my solitary actions have become an open secret in some quarters and the response to Richard is silent and thereby menacing. The Catholic priests I know are to some extent in this category unprepared to discourse and dialogue with Richard in this theme. What is needed is conversation and non confrontational debate. I am left to my own devices as I often have been in my life.
At various times in my adult life this private practice has come to the fore and although quelled then by feelings of guilt. I now work within this habit and wear it for Christ. It is no longer sin even though it may be sinful. I have raised the stakes by hoisting the banner of my solitary action. Yes I have put in jeopardy the very sanctity of my marital union but I have reinforced that marital bond by my positive actions. I will not let up on the pace of my affection. Many do not understand my high risk strategy and paradoxical stance. I support my loved ones from a ‘distance’ and I will not relent on my fundamental principle that women matter more than men. My very essence is at loggerheads with hum drum matrimony. If I went on down this road I would seriously damage the fabric of marriage in all probability let alone my own union. I will not do that nor will I contemplate such an outcome.
5. John Stuart Mill
My purpose is to uphold my genuine, private, prayerful practices and prayer life in solitude where only God sees me. I crave absolute privacy and secrecy in prayer and covert conduct. I may not justify my acts but they are and have become part of my life since 2008 – indeed since 15 years old in 1967 to be truthful. These acts have never been illegal nor criminal. Yes they are challenging to others. I do not like stifling stuffiness. That aim to counter ordinariness has driven me forward. I believe like John Stuart Mill (19th Century moral philosopher and political thinker – English) in the right of the individual to be permitted to act in privacy providing you do not harm others and in the power of the minority to drive ideas in to the public eye and create social and political change.
Where does all this lead? Not to a passing ephemeral and superficial pleasure but that is an integral part of my hidden progress I cannot deny. The real aim can only dimly be seen but without it the private practice would have disappeared from my life long ago. Not to praise God but to pull down and part the curtains surrounding the opponents of the light and show them in their true colours. That aim may only be achieved by my personal pleasure and sacrifice in this repeated quiet and secluded action. What I do is the work of God (Opus Dei) therefore – but outside the “walls of the Cathedrals”. Very few are called to my particular mode of life and obedience in my bodily habits. I would say only myself and advisedly so. Several will buttress me in my endeavour to “unmask” the secretive party yet they will not be practitioners of my sole and personal acts. The combination of my very strong Roman Catholicism and these repetitious private actions which have become known to a number of persons informally is very unusual and goes to the heart of the Roman Catholic Church which is deeply concerned at sexual malpractice especially within the priesthood: Roman Catholic. I am no cleric so I may breathe more freely. My own open secret counters the hidden “network” who will admit nothing. As my agent has said I am too open and I lay it on the table. I am having my cake and eating it. Some would say I am “cocking a snook” at accepted mores and morality. The clerics are not content with R M Lamb therefore and they regard his conduct with displeasure and disdain (barely unspoken). Yet I have to pursue my aim of dismantling the “castles” of these opponents to the true Church (not these clerics). In the deepest Christian sense my strategy is to achieve this demolition (iconoclastic) by:
- Strict observance of my Roman Catholic religious life eg: Mass on Sundays and daily prayer to name two of the most vital.
- The similarly very deeply and frequently committed solitary actions – (i) is more important than (ii) yet (ii) drives me to greater understanding of (i).
You cannot achieve the “unmasking” any old way – it requires courage, skill, persistence and preparedness to go out on a limb – a lifetime’s work and learning – the essence of my Catholic being in this endeavour. I am a pathfinder. I stand alone and I do not receive the plaudits and praise. Yet in my day to day activities I am propelled forward. I will see it to the conclusion. The matter is difficult to comprehend but through R M Lamb’s polemic of words, actions and practice as a Roman Catholic the “enemies of Christ” will be revealed mark my words. It takes a good man to show up a bad one – that has been my job as an Advocate from 1975 – 2013 and now as a writer. I will not give up – Christ has given me this task and I will shine the clear light of faith and truth on to those who seek to hide from God the Father and mislead those who live on earth. Those who seek to hide know I am coming you can be sure and they do not relish the prospect. “Christ be my breastplate and Christ be my soul’s shelter” – (From “Be thou my vision” hymn).
Postscript : Delusion or Reality
Am I deceiving myself? Is the whole of this essay a delusion and a gross misrepresentation of my behaviour? Am I justifying my actions on specious grounds? I can see the force of that argument. But my linkage of this covert conduct to Catholicism means you will seriously impugn my Catholicism and Roman Catholicism generally if you or I were to accept this cynical approach. I have deliberately staked a lot on this solitary behaviour and stated it is an integral part of my Catholicism. I have to say this but the Roman Catholic Church matters to me and like it or not R M Lamb matters to the London and English Roman Catholic Church in my life history. To bring R M Lamb down now would be very bad for the 21st Century Roman Catholic Church in England. For all the reasons in this paper and its postscript R M Lamb has become vital to Roman Catholicism in England and London. Do not doubt it or you will mislead yourself and others. I say. Do not be ashamed or retiring Richard this is the truth. Stand up for Christ who has nailed his colours to your mast. Well done R M Lamb! I do not wish to become high falutin and put on airs and graces. Yet the truth of this polemic is such I would be guilty of massive false humility and modesty to deny its truth and go against it not to mention cowardice. I have been raised up by Christ yet as Col Ralph May RIP said in June 2012 “in humility and charity” – my constant refrain and my reminder of my weak human nature – thank you Ralph. I will do my God-given duty nevertheless – what a privilege and honoured and danger in every sense for R M Lamb esq. Christ will mediate and intercede for me at the right hand of the Father over the coming months. I have been chosen because I will not shrink from the greatness being cast upon me. Be brave Richard. God be with R M Lamb. I will lead. I will be at the front of the charge.
7. Seduel: Target/Prize and the Alliance
The result is a very highly sought after target and prize namely R M Lamb’s soul. My enemies seek to “kill” that soul ‘la mort de l’ame’. The might within my heart and soul is too great for the comfort of the enemies of Christ. The Light that has shone in the dark will never go out (Genesis). The enemy will transmute and take a different form to reassert its power on earth. Be guarded and stay awake (Cardinal J H Newman). We will not be surpassed. I am well known and understood in Roman Catholicism in London, Westminster Cathedral, Downside Abbey, Wiltshire, Cumbria, Worth Abbey and elsewhere due to my religious policy and other features of my life. My position was being carved out in the 1970’s even. I will in due course be supported in that religious stand by the English Roman Catholic Church. Thus like all souls I matter to the Catholic Church no more no less than any other.
I have been made a central “target” and I represent the best of early 21st Century English Catholicism. I will always defend Catholicism and its originality. English Catholicism has chosen me as its Advocate. Those Catholics have not erred – I am not deluded – I see and speak the truth of Christ as ever. They know I am not mistaken. I take heart from those English Bishops and Priests in the Roman Catholic eglise and their alignment with R M Lamb to enable me to believe in my position on the relations between my personal life, my prayer life and my public life including my practice as my Catholic religion. This alignment is well founded and not flawed in anyway. That is the ultimate reply to the question am I deluded. I have laid down the gauntlet – Who will pick it up?